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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  April 30, 2012 6:00pm-6:30pm PDT

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when they traveled earler this month. a team is. >> as the investigation enters its second week six of 12 secret service agents implicated resigned or were fired. there's word of another agent who has taken a prostitute to a sensitive location. [ laughter ] >> jon: i would assume, general, it's standard operating procedure. vis-a-vis prostitute and their locations and respective sensitivity. nobody wants someone to rub their elbow, you know what i'm talking about? this is taking our finest political reporters on a whirlwind tour of whatever is spanish for mowlin rouge. >> the tourist trade here is very popular. you are going to be approached on every corner. we also know that a lot of
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single scannedly clad women hang out in the areas where the secret service men were partying. >> jon: we've also learned these women smell amazing. an intoxicating mist of lavender and one other thing we've found here is that breast glitterç doesn't come out of your clothes. [ laughter ] it's like imperious to lint rollers. this is the reporter for very lonely planet. [ laughter ] as all of as the scandal is the thing that amazed me the most came out as a side note. >> david chaney a secret service supervisor faces scrutiny for this photo that reportedly surfaced on his facebook page showing him on sarah palin's security detail. his post said i was really checking her out if you know what i mean. [ laughter ] >> jon: okay, first of all we're not really confused about
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what you mean. you were checking her out, if you know what i mean it's a single entendre, nobody thinks she's a library book and we're confused. second, how the (bleep) does a secret service guy have a facebook book where he posts pictures of who he's protecting. check it out it's me. if you know what i mean? secret guys on foursquare, too? just checking in at the previous's previously undisclosed location. as much as this scandal -- [ applause ] -- look at me throwing internet things out. [ laughter ] as much as this scandal may indicate the need for procedures and culture in the secret service the problem may be widespread. >> i can't help but wonder if there's more women as part of that detail if this ever would
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have happened. >> it's only 11% of the agents are women. >> we agree on this if there were more agents on the ground maybe we would not have had this. >> think of money we would save from paying them less. [ laughter ] for more on this jeer joined with samantha bee who is in cartagena. sam -- [cheers and applause] >> thank you. [cheers and applause] >> jon: they are suggesting the way to vied the scandals are for the secret service to hire more women. keeping women in the group copes a lid on bad behavior. >> what av: great deal for wome. don't bother reforming your agency's training program or steak a no (bleep) on facebook rule just hire a couple of female agents in charge of buzz kill. okay, boys spit out your beernz put your whreep away. special agent nagatha christy
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son the case. [ laughter ] >> jon: don't you think, sam, men are offended as well. collins and maloney are imp plying a group of men can't go away together and not try to bang anyone with 100 feet. >> yeah, but that's true. >> jon: carolyn maloney is part of morning congress shl dell decontamination. they are 30% women in. the last three years alone they've about ferguson p twitter dick van patton and tickle me -- >> did i grope a male staffer? yeah, i did. i tickled him so he couldn't breathe. >> jon: so i guess without the influence of women there the whole delegation would descend into chai yois? it's the thought that women don't let loose what they are traveling as well as men? >> well, women have better focus in self control.
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fact! oh, okay. >> jon: what is that, sam? >> nothing. do not need to worry about that. >> jon: is that jessica? >> no. >> what'sçñr up? jon, it's amazing! >> jon: what are you doing? >> everything and everyone, jon! >> jon: donde etsa -- i'll tell you donde esta aqui. >> i have no idea what she's talking about. this is crazy, jon. >> jon: are you saying you don't know she's talking about? >> yes, because she was (bleep) up last night. jon, i have so many pictures. >> don't you dare! >> run slideshow. [ laughter. >> awesome clip.
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got a little hands-y but we settled the beef. we talked it out. everyone went their accept are rate ways and we headed back to the boor, jon. it was all good. >> jon: sorry who was that? >> it was old hitler. jon, we found and drank with old hitler. >> jon: what? i thought he was in argentina? were you partying with old hitler, sam? >> after the cat tranquilizers i was pretty sure he was a had a loose nation. >> that old hitler (bleep) was real. >> jon: i think it's time for you level headed females to come home. >> we are, home, john. >> if you see jason remind him to feed my children. >> jon: all
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it has a very nice spice note. [ jim koch ] it has a little lemon zest and a historic brewing spice called grains of paradise. -it's citrusy. -lemony. sam adams summer ale, it totally reminds you of summer, you know?
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[cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. hey it's a new yorkú"eprimary. [ laughter ] you know why -- because doesn't matter. jason jones has more.
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>> the republican primary has been a 24 hour news extravaganza for states like new hampshire and iowa. candidates and reporters flocked to local diners, newsstands, lunch counters, cafes, diner and greasy spoons drowning them with attention and pa lrnt i cheese. it was on to new york but with the early states making mitt romney the presumptive nominee no one is here. there were no tv cameras new york supporters. >> off to vote? no. >> voters like kevin hardwick were disappointed. those people in iowa and new hampshire. on my bucket list just once i want to cast a vote that matters. >> i knew i what i had to do you know what today we're going to tick something off that list and get you that much closer to death. >> it was time for "the daily show"'s show new york primary day fantasy-dream machine thing.
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you say you are frustrated by this process. you say your vote doesn't matter. today i want you to make your dreams come true. all right? bus driver move this bus. >> what did you say to me? (bleep) ah! there they are theç media. we were going to make kevin fel like a voter that actually mattered. first stop his own cable news panel. we got him a red neck, a muslim, a soccer mom, a nonthreatening black couple and sole dad o'brien chnch candidate do you think represents a row prolife voice and why? let's hear from kevin. >> mitt romney says. >> if i could make two points,
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great point and letter b i agree with whatever kevin says. >> soccer mom? >> a degree, the children are our children. >> okay. >> let's move to a hot button on gay marriage. which candidate speaks to your concerns about gay marriage the best. kevin? well, sole dad, i'm opposed to traditional marriage. i gravitate back to a guy like rick santorum. >> yes, an antihomo like us. >> that's a good place to leave it. >> he doesn't reflect your opinion, does he? >> no. >> he takes it to the next logical conclusion. let's go. >> and although iowa has had ads tailored to them. new york voters had to be content with satanic car service signals. that all changes today. >> mitt romney says he won't
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deport your children but can we really trust a man with 15 houses. that's a lot of houses. >> but rick santorum is a man that americans -- americans like what is your name? >> kevin. >> americans like kevin, rick santorum 2012. >> wow. i feel like i'm in the middle of iowa here. let's go vote. >> it was go time and with the supporters cheering himç on -- moment of truth. >> get in there and make us proud. >> you go get them, kevin. >> vote your ass off, kevin. ♪ [ applause ]
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♪ >> unreal. >> it's been a long day a great day but in the end i know it's still fantasy and nothing happens. >> it was off to the indiana primary on may 8 to give the folks there who don't matter a chance to matter.
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[cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight she was the secretary of state dur the clinton administration. the new book is out. welcome back to the show.secz[c] so nice to see you. how are you? >> very nice to see you. [cheers and applause] >> jon: go to see grench to see you. >> jon: boy, first of all just what an impressive writing. it's mag any of sefnlt i really enjoyed the way you have woven history with memoir, the sort of
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person people brnses but also sort of historically recreating that time period. was your intention to combine those in a way? >> i kind of thought the book in three layers. the inner part of sit say personal story of trying to sort out who i am and also put it within the context of my parents live and the second is the historical period, 37 to 48 is quite a period in terms of how grit nations made decisions about the fate of small countries and the third is about the difficulty of making moral decisions. >> jon: so give the background you lived in check slow vokea. >> i was born there. my mother wanted me to be born in prague and in 1939 when the nazis marched in we escaped to live in england because my father was with the government in exile in london. so i spent the war in london in
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bomb shelters and i had a very british accent. >> jon: really? and i would imagine a healthy disregard for germany? >> very healthy disregard, yes. the thing that was so interesting my father used to tell the story he was on one of the double decker buses he tripped over somebody and said i'm not sorry that's for munich. [ laughter ] so this was something very much. then we went back in 1945 and my father was made the ambassador. i didn't spend an awful lot of time there but i learned a lot about what i wasmy was. >> jon: you found that even as much as the nazis had done that czechoslovakia had its own
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complicated history with its german people -- >> it's an interesting country if i may say so. formed in 1918 very much based on america, woodrow wilson and basically a country set up in order to have self determine immediate consideration. -- self determination. the constitution was based on the american constitution with one exception. the first president was married to an american woman and they were married at the end of the 19th century. anyway, the issue was that there were minorities in check slovakia and the big one was the german minority. the story was that the german minority didn't feel it was treated properly. they were -- they then, as i
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learned history, were alleged in many ways of providing the environment for the creation of a nazi party there. >> jon: right. >> so they were viewed as traitors. in many cases they were. what happened after the war once the allies had won, the germans were pushed out ofçxd czechoslovakia and when i was ambassador and then secretary of state and we were talking about ethic cleansing in the former yugoslavia and what do you think your people did to the germans, they pushed them out, too? i don't believe in selective guilt. one of the reasons that i was so vocal on the idea of war crimes tribunal and the international criminal court. >> jon: right. >> is they we can't ashrine collective guilt we have to assign individual guilt. >> jon: in some respects it would be easier to believe there
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was an evil group that carried out this terrible thing and no one else could ever approach that level of inhumanity and we find it's more complicated than that the good guys and bad guys. >> i think the hardest part about it is realized within all of us there's some of the traitor, the person who rats on their neighbor, and then some people who are just amazingly brave. one of the interesting things the czechs were actually the first ones -- or the only ones that had an assassination against a high level german. >> jon: right. >> and what happened was that there was one ordinary woman who actually helped those who came in for the assassination. they found her because somebody ratted on her to get money and
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she took a cyanide people to never have to tell the story. the story in this book, a lot of is sad, i have to sad, but some of it is really showing the resilience of people. i wanted to show that. >> jon: the resilience of you, yourself, years back received a picture of where you came from and who you are within that that you did not know. >> for me -- and i start the book this way -- i was 59 and i thought i knew who i was and about the country where i was born. it trnz out i didn't know who iv was and i found out a lot of things about czechoslovakia that i had not known. what happened was when i was ambassador to the united nations people began to write me letters which were barely readable but mostly they would say i'm your relative send money. [ laughter ] you know, i bet you you and i
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are somehow related. >> jon: you found out your parents were jewishs and a lot of your family had perished in the holocaust. you were in the raised that. >> i did not know that i was raised a catholic and became an episcopalian when i was married. somebody sent me a letter with names and villages. when i was vetted the lawyer said tell us something about you that weapon haven't asked that you think you ought to know i said well it's perfectly logical that i'm of jewish background. they said so what our president is not antisemitic. it's one thing to find out you are jewish which i thought was fas naight and pleased to know about the complexity of my background but another to find out more than two dozen of my relatives died in the holocaust. >> jon: that's the part that
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you begin to -- i imagine a complex feeling of almost guilt things you didn't know difficult to work through. >> i must say people want to know how come i smart person i was supposed toç be had never thought about this. if you never know there's something about you -- there was no reason to ask. so i'm really very -- i never had a chance to ask my parents when i found all this out they were dead. so the reason i wrote the book out of remembrance and honoring those who did die and then who explained the story and then the resilience part. and it's about leadership. leaders often operate on wishful thinking. chamberlain thought that hitler might change. roosevelt thought that stalin might change. leaders need to operate on the basis of facts not wishful things. >> jon: do you have ten minutes to stick around? have ten minutes to stick
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around. prague winter on the
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